well yesterday was super fun and mary gotted a non retarded boyfriend!! and and and i looked in the mirror and something WONDERFUL happened!! i was all purty!! and i didn't give a fuck at that moment if anyone else in the world thought so cuz i was happy just the way i was. lately i've been reeeeeeeeally busy and my friends suddenly wanna hang out with me. catherine is becoming a pothead and it's funny. in fact....... it a month ago seemed sooooo highly unlikely that it's damn near impossible to believe now. oh yeah........ MUSHROOMHEAD AND SEVENDUST were cool. but i wanted to blow up the sun. it gaved me a headache. i saw brandon for the first time in like a month and a half and it made me realize how much i miss him when he isn't there. i made sure to call em today. he he he....... all the power went out at the mall and it was funny cuz the rent a piggies were FREAKIN OUT!! and i talked to the dude from this band i saw the other night called the volatiles and he was nice!! i am not gonna expect things to be good tomorrow though cuz if i believe that i am fine and everything's gonna stay as good as they are they go to hell. hopefully though i'll be lucky and things will be this way for a whiiiiiile. this time though, everything is different. i'm not happy because suddenly people like me...... i'm happy because i don't seem to care anymore about the people who don't. yesterday i met mary's friend jessica bellman. she was cool but it was funny cuz she just randomly grabbed this dude and now he's her boyfriend. i felt like a dork yesterday cuz i was the only person of the 3 of us who went home single. but mary made a good point....... it's not like i TRIED. we stayed up til 6 in the morning and i slept til 3. we now have a DEVIOUS plan but i can't reveal what it is. let's just say it's GUDE. VERY VERY GUDE. and mary has a devious plan involving me and ryan and everytime i say to her that i am going to give up cuz it's NEVER gonna happen she says the only reason it hasn't is because she is holding off on the plan........ *sighs* i'm just going to not think about all of this for a while and chill. everything either happens or it doesn't in situations like that and worrying and pondering does nothing. meanwhile........ i wanna go to brandon's house cuz i haven't been over there in a looooooooong time. or vice versa. just as long as the dude's around for me to chill with. i WANT to go shopping and to see the powerpuff girls movie with jessica tomorrow but i'm not going to anticipate it because my PLANS always fail. to beddy by i go. OH SHIT!! I HAFTA CLEAN MY ROOM!!